What a day! And it's not even over yet. I'll start from the begginning. So yesterday, the guy who was hosting me in my home took me to a renewable energy forum that was going on in San Luis Obispo. He wanted me to help him hand out to people there an article he wrote about hanging laundry out to dry in the sun which was published in the local paper. There was an expo, a room where a few companies were promoting their services, mostly solar panel companies. And then there was a room where representatives of companies building solar panel farms in the area could explain their projects. I assumed that Bill, my host would ask me to hand out the articles in the expo room, where everybody was walking around talking to each other, and I assumed he would ask me to do this after the presentations.
I was wrong. After the companies presentations, they allowed people in the audience to ask them questions. Of course Bill was the first to raise his hand, though they didn't get to him for a few minutes. I was not sitting next to him I was onthe other side of the room. Most of the questions were like "How will your project effect the native grasses?", things like that. Bill directed his question to the audience. "I want to know why everybody here is so concerned with these solar panels when you can start using solar power right now by hanging your clothes out to dry in the sun? How many people here hang their clothes out to dry? Well I have an article which Daniel, I don't know where he is, he's supposed to be here to help me pass these out. Daniel?" I was mortified. i couldn't believe he was using the Q&A as a public forum to get his articles out. I wasn't going to help him disrupt a well organized event like. But he kept calling my name while everyone was chuckling at this well known local eco-kook. I eventually stood up and held up the articles, so people would know that they could come and get them from me after the presentations were over. But no, he signaled for me to come over and told me to go around the room handng them out. Well I did that. Even as the guy running the forum asked Bill if he had a question for the presenters, which he didn't. After the forum was over, i went over to the guy running the forum and apologized for Bill's interruption. He said it was alright, that everybody knows Bill is "special", and he told me I did a great job, actually a bunch of people said the same thing. I guess everybody though it was entertaining.
Well on the ride home, Bill asked me why I didn't come immediately to him and pass out the articles. I explained to him that we never actually discussed when I would pass the articles out, but I assumed it wouldn't be during the forum itself but rather afterwards in the expo hall, and that when he got up in the middle of the forum using the Q&A section for his own use, I thought that was very inappropriate and rude. He told me that was my opinion. I had called the farm I was supposed to go to next week and left a message asking if it was possible to come early because i was feeling uncomfortable at Bill's place. Well Mary called me back while I was we were in the car heading back to the hostel. She told me that she had all the workers she could use, and that there was no room for me even for next week. I had arranged to stay at her place over three weeks ago.
Later that day, back at the hostel, Bill asked me to empty out wheelbarrows full of water from the gutters onto the ornamental plants around his house. While trying to move the wheelbarrow water spilled out onto his driveway. whn hes saw this he got real mad at me. I apologized and said that it wasn't intentional, but he kept screaming "If I can do it and I'm an old man than you should be able to do it!" I apologized again.
This morning when I woke up , I went into the kitchen and Bill told me "It's time for you to leave". I asked him why, and he told me again that it was time for me to leave. He said that he would drop me off at the bus station in town. Who was I to argue? I was staying in this man's home. What could I do? This man would not listen to me no matter what I had to say. So I packed up and put my stuff in the back of his car. On the way to the bus stop he said , "You asked me why you have to leave. Well, yesterday you were supposed to help me pass out my articles and you didn't do that. And you spilled water all over my driveway." I apologized to him and then told him that I think he really has issues, that even though he's a grumpy old ean he should try to be nice to people, like other people are nice to him.
He had told me a few days before that because of the articles he writes, people know he's a liberal eco-freak and sometimes when they see him, some people give him the finger saying, "fuck you, bill denneen!" When I took my bags out of the back I went to close his passenger door, bent my head in and said, "Hey Bill, I'm sorry to have to say this but, Fuck you!" and closed the door.
I'll admit from the minute he told me I had to leave, I was asking myself what I would do. But I was busy packing and just getting out of there without screaming at this crazy old man. At the bus stop, by myself I was forced to ask myself the question, what am I going to do. Well I called the woman I was supposed to go to next week, who lives nearby, and asked if i could stay the night there. She said ok. And i called my third farm and asked if I could come early. She said I can come tuesday. So now I've got Sunday and Monday to do whatever I want. What a fucking day. When I signed up for WWOOF I never thought something like this would happen. That I would be verbally and emotionally abused then kicked out to the street y a crotchety old hermit. That my next farm would cancel on me after agreeing on it weeks ago. Any way, I'm in a starbucks in San Luis Obispo, 12 miles from the place I'm staying out. I'm thinking about taking a taxi there. though it'll cost some.
I'm pretty depressed right now, but I'm not quitting. I know there are good farm people here on the West coast and I am going to find them. I want to work and help make great things happen, and this one bad experience isn't going to stop me. I'm stubborn. Wish me luck!
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3 comments:
Daniel,
I sympathize with your plight! I was actually at the forum when Bill started yelling "Daniel!!" and it was pretty obvious what an uncomfortable position he put you in. However, none of us were annoyed at all by it. It was actually a refreshing chuckle for us after listening to the Solar Ranchers sell us their projects. After reading your post, I just wanted to say, good luck, hang in there, and don't give up!
Daniel,
I live in Nipomo not far from Bill Denneen, and I've known him for 20+ years. We can amuse ourselves for hours around here in our small town with Bill Denneen stories. He's done some good work over the years with his environmental advocacy, but he sometimes treats his allies like foes, and undoes the hard work of cooperation and consensus building done by others because he refuses to compromise his own way of doing things. On the one hand, Bill can be commended for building a wonderful legacy, but on the other hand he's unraveling it with his irrational behavior and hypocritical actions, and new people in the community or visitors like you only see the latter and not the former.
Sometimes we like to say that Bill is "eccentric" or "kooky", and other times we say. . . well, you know what we say. I think it's time for Bill to put his feet up, call it a day, and leave the cause to someone younger and less irritable than he, and I'm sure even most of his friends would say the same. But nobody wants to say that to his face. Not that he would listen anyway.
A friend just forwarded your blog to me and you of course are long gone, but I hope you had a chance to see something more positive about SLO County. We have plenty of warm and gracious people here.
Bill Denneen is like many of us - we try get along all the time, but sometimes we get grumpy. Or in Bill's case, ill-tempered.
I've known Bill about 20 years and continue to appreciate him. He's always been provocative, and now he's a grumpy old man who's pissed to be losing his strength and stamina. I've argued with him and won, so I know from personal experience that he remains open and fair-minded. He is also an effective and longtime environvangelist who has my respect.
I will miss Bill when he dies, but that won't be anytime soon. Besides, I know Bill will love life on the other side, flying with a flock of pelicans, or sprouting antlers for the spring rut, or standing inside an ancient oak tree with his roots pushed deep into the ground where the purest waters travel.
You are young and vigorous, Mr. Kra, with a few rough edges of your own. I enjoyed your hilarious tale about that crazy old man and suspect you'll find the humor in it one day as well.
Meanwhile, I would love to read about your visions for the farm you would create given everything you need to make it so.
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